“All the good stuff is on the other side of tired.” – Andre Agassi***
If living through Covid-19, the Black Lives Matter Movement and everyday life hasn’t added extra weight to your shoulders, I don’t know what will.
The first six months of the Covid-19 pandemic were challenging but “Ok, I can do this!” Was the mindset of many, especially when the entire country was shut down. We were in this together. We began to search for a new normal – It was all about change. Then after three months, just when things were starting to flow a bit and we were getting used to all things new and different, the country opened up again… but wait! We couldn’t open all the way up, we had to find a half way process so we could open up without opening up. We needed another new normal, because the first new normal didn’t get planned correctly before implementation occurred, so it needed to be redone.
The redo was not so much for the part that went wrong, as much as it was for the people who didn’t like the new normal and didn’t believe the new normal was necessary because they had yet to experience the reality of Covid-19. This was not about change. This was about denial.
Denial #1
It reminds me of two conversations I was privy to or was a part of in the past. In each case the persons speaking were announcing the underlying problem behind people’s feeling a need for a diversity initiative and diversity education. The first conversation was more of an announcement that was made in a meeting that I and others attended. We were given this joyfully presentation with a sprinkling of hesitation that the microaggressions and lack of cultural sensitivities that people were experiencing was a lack of respect and should fall under the topic of respect and therefore… you guessed it… we should address the issues going forward under the umbrella of Respect. So we were going to pursue Respect and everything would be alright!
Denial #2
The second conversation took place approximately 20 years later. Much work had been done in our organization around diversity and inclusion but this took place at an offsite conference on cultural competence and disparities in healthcare. The content being shared was pretty in depth and was quite motivating. A colleague and I had a conversation, in which she said, this is important information and we don’t even have to call it cultural competence or diversity and inclusion “we can just call it Respect and deal with it!” Can you picture the dumbfounded look on my face when she said that? I bet you can. Ok, I’ll state the usual: (a wide-eyed emoji goes here!)
So do we really believe that the complexities and lifelong trainings of racism, discrimination, sexism, ageism etc. will disappear if we don’t address them directly? Sounds crazy but isn’t that what people… leaders do sometimes? We ignore Mary coming in 15 minutes late every day as if it’s not happening, and when asked about it by others we won’t answer or we deny that she does it. We ignore that everyone suspects John, who works alone, leaves early on the night shift, because no one answers the phone the last two hours of his shift and no one from other departments see him during that timeframe. Uncle Frank is becoming very forgetful and is getting lost when he travels to very familiar places that are not very far away. Do we think things will fix themselves if we ignore them?
I’m sure this is what the Covid-19 doubters are thinking. If they don’t believe it, it will go away.
Leaders Have to Take Charge
There are times when we can get away with not dealing with what needs to addressed but when we move into leadership roles that is no longer an option. Even as leaders we forget who we are sometimes and we start to act like one of the girls or one of the guys but we have to catch ourselves and remember “Oh, I’m supposed to be in charge.” There really are times when we get caught up in the moment and start thinking like everyone else but that doesn’t help anyone.
This is not to be confused with keeping our ear to the ground or keeping our finger on the pulse of what is happening around us. It is important that we keep a realistic eye and ear open to what is happening and what is being said by the people around us. In this regard, we have to be approachable enough and realistic enough to hear real thoughts and real feelings of others. How are people really feeling? What is circulating within the rumor mill? How do people view me? These are questions that keep us grounded. These are questions we must be prepared to address… without emotion… to keep everyone on track and moving in the same direction. Be sure the same direction is the right direction.
Why Leaders Sometimes Shut Down
In spite of all that’s been said, leaders are people too. We may get to a point of letting our guard down and foregoing leadership behaviors or activities when we become tired of the ongoing battles that leaders have to fight in day to day work. What battles you say? The internal customer battles, the external customer battles, the inner team battles, the colleague battles, the Covid-19 battles and the list goes on and on. And quite honestly the internal battles are more than enough to totally distract you from doing anything meaningful.
There’s a lot going on in the world around us. Somehow, someway, we are expected to stay strong, stay focused and lead the masses through it. It’s a daunting task. Growing weary as assigned is not in the job description, but grow weary we will if we are human. So when that day comes, what can we do? Here is a list of 7 Things To Lift Leaders Out of Weariness:
7 Things to Lift Leaders Out of Weariness
- Stay Away From Those Who Don’t Support You. On the job, this might be difficult but certainly not impossible. You may have to sit in a team meeting with such people but you do not have to go to lunch with them or invite them to your house for dinner. Even when they stop by your office and ask if you want to take a walk down to the vending machines, just say no.
- Get In The Right Company. Spend more time in the company of those who support the work you do and the role you play. I am not talking about people who like to brown nose in order to get on your good side, but those who sincerely like your work… and you. This is not the time to listen to those who belittle, demean or diminish you or your work; not when you are feeling weak and weary. Spend some time with those who help build you up instead of those who tear you down. Those who tear you down will ultimately destroy you if you let them.
- Listen to Some Encouragement. If the opportunity presents itself spend some time listening to a peer, an official or unofficial mentor or someone you admire as they give a motivational speech, talk or presentation. Better yet, listen to a (sound) spiritual teaching message, ie your own pastor. This can help encourage and inspire you to move beyond your negative state of mind.
- Step Away From the Situation for a Short Time. Give yourself a mini getaway. Take a walk in a peaceful, safe outdoor area or take a drive. Get your favorite lunch, dessert or both and enjoy them on your getaway, then go back. You might have to repeat this daily until things get better.
- Do What You are Able to Do. We grow weary sometimes because we dread what lies ahead but that doesn’t mean we have exhausted all options. It is easy to get caught up in doing the work once we get started, so get started. No point getting weary when we have not yet done our part. If people are wearing you down, after taking that quick break and surrounding yourself with the right people and the right support, take the right steps to get things moving in the right direction. Don’t fret over things that have yet to be done or that were done wrong. Move forward and build new energy in what is getting done. You should begin to build new momentum as you begin. You can then focus on this and not on what’s wrong.
- Pray. While I’m listing it at number six, it should be done at number one, and number two and… you get the point. I’ve made no secret of the fact that I am a Christian. I cannot split my life in two and expect to come up with something whole. I have never gotten through a difficult time in my life without prayer. There is no way I could have ever maintained any leadership roles in my life without God’s help. When we grow weary, it is time for a Jesus break. Go pray. If it is not a middle of the day moment of weakness but a week long build up then respond accordingly. Our spirit is telling us it is being neglected. It needs time of refreshing and support. It needs to praise God, hear God’s Word and hear God’s voice.
- Are You Doing Too Much? The question for number five might have been ‘Are you doing enough?’ The question here is different. We grow weary when we are doing more than we ought to be doing. When we are doing more than we are supposed to be doing, we get burned out. When we are carrying out the work that we have been ordained to do, we may be challenged but we are also energized and satisfied. We see this in the church quite often. People taking on tasks, assignments and work that has little or no meaning to them because a) it has to get done so they choose to do it or b) they want to control everything and how it is done. Ultimately, when we do more than God has instructed us to do, we grow weak and weary because we are expending more resources than necessary to get it all done. We are operating in our own strength and not God-given strength to get it all done. Christians, if you happen to be one, should always draw on our power source for energy, wisdom and guidance to get things done, otherwise why do we need God? He need not be a crutch or an excuse for not moving forward either but He cannot be left out of our equation. When He is, weariness will ensue.
Closing Thoughts
There’s a scripture in Galatians 6:9 that says, “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” No matter what, never give up. Keep going. When we grow weary, we simply need to take a breather and then get going again.
Every stressful situation is temporary. Nothing lasts forever. Leaders just have to convince themselves and others that change will eventually come. Our job, as individuals and as a team is to get to that finish line of change, travelling in the direction in which we want to go. The finish line is the point of change. It’s what we do on the way to the finish line that determines what happens at that point of change. If we grow weary and quit, we don’t reach the finish line, but guess what? Change still comes. Will it be the change we seek or the change someone else sought? The stakes are high.
With Covid-19 the stakes are high. With BLM the stakes are high. With your life and future, the stakes are high. Be not weary in well doing, for in due season you shall reap, if you faint not!