“Revenge and retaliation always perpetuate the cycle of anger, fear and violence.” – Coretta Scott King***
Sherine was a competent, hardworking young woman who was favored by her manager and her director. They worked in a large, rather complicated department and she was an instrumental part of the work they did. The department management was hard to follow and even harder to figure out; constantly changing rules, programs and processes. Employees were continually complaining and often found their management tactics questionable. Employees who complained to senior management or to human resources often found themselves in trouble for other reasons and eventually had to resign or were terminated for other, unrelated offenses.
When Sherine decided to report a questionable practice she had observed, to human resources, she indicated to the human resources representative, that it was clear to the department staff that those who spoke up would end up fired for unrelated reasons. The HR representative asked her, if what she was saying was in fact true, could management dredge up any accusations against her, if they were to discover she had been to HR? Sherine said yes. She had a chronic tardiness problem. She was late almost daily but because she was so highly favored by management, they never said anything to her about it. There was only a slight mention in one or two past evaluations. The HR rep informed Sherine that if all that she said was correct, this was an area that needed to be corrected immediately.
The HR representative took Sherine’s complaint seriously. She shared the complaint with her own vice president who then took them to the vice president of Sherine’s department. The VP of Sherine’s department was often rather supportive of his management team. It was not long before the HR representative received notification that Sherine had been given a final written warning for chronic tardiness. She was soon terminated for the same reason. The HR director as well as the VP indicated that because the late starts were so chronic it would be impossible to challenge the termination decision.
Whistleblower complaints, harassment complaints or other complaint filings with authorities in the workplace, community, government or other organizations can give way to retaliation from those who resent such filings. Retaliation is the act or a set of actions that wrongly punish an individual, usually an employee, for engaging in activities that are legally protected or appropriate. Such punishment may include any negative job, task or assignment action, such as discipline, demotion, firing, salary reduction, job or shift reassignment.
Evidence of Retaliation
The standard for proving a retaliation claim requires showing that management’s action might deter a reasonable person from opposing harassment, discrimination or participating in the complaint process. The retaliation may be meant to serve more than one purpose. One reason is to get back at the one who filed the complaint, the second reasons is to deter others from such future behaviors.
To prove retaliation in a court of law, one generally has to show:
- You experienced or witnessed discrimination, harassment or an illegal activity
- You did not experience or witness the behavior but you raised the issue to those in authority
- You engaged in a protected activity (reporting or complaining about discrimination, harassment or illegal activity)
- Your employer took an adverse action against you in response to your role in one of the above
- You suffered emotional, psychological, professional or other damage as a result of their actions against you
Retaliation is Retaliation in Any Setting
Retaliation in a business setting is what tends to be defined as illegal as outline above. I believe leaders should also be conscientious of behaviors that take the form of retaliation in other settings though such behaviors do not fall within the jurisdiction of the law. In other settings it may not always be considered unlawful but would clearly be defined as wrong. Proving that such behaviors took place may be difficult but leaders, please understand the definition of retaliation and what makes it wrong.
For example, the law may not state that a parent cannot retaliate against a child who has told another parent about the first parent’s bad deeds but it is still retaliation and it is still wrong. The law may not state that a church leader must not behave in a retaliatory manner towards a parishner (member) who reported the leader’s inappropriate behaviors to the Pastor but it is still retaliation and it is still wrong.
Leaders Be Mindful of Your Own Behaviors
For some reason, some leaders seem blind to the concept and thus susceptible to the reality of their own inappropriate behaviors. It has also been my experience that individuals exhibit retaliatory behaviors towards others in their personal lives, when they resent the actions of another. We may not view it as retaliation as much as we may simply refer to it as bullying in more personal matters but that doesn’t excuse the behavior.
Whether regulated by legalities or not leaders take the blinders off. If you are unhappy or downright appalled that someone would go above your head or around your person to report your improprieties then recognize you might be primed and ready to lash out in retaliation against that individual. In this case, having been put in this position, assume you need to proceed with caution. Be very aware of how you are interacting and acting towards that person. Don’t roll your eyes, don’t ignore them, don’t engage in gossipy conversations about them; I would even suggest that you not hold any immediate meetings with them until you calm down… but don’t wait too long if you would normally meet, lest you be accused of not meeting with them because you are trying to get back at them.
I hear someone saying, “I’m not going to go out of my way to try to act like I’m not upset with this person. I don’t have to do that!”
My answer to you is: “Yes you do.” Depending on what you do and where you are in life, if you are a leader, you have to act like one. While leaders are allowed to have feelings, as well we should, leaders are not allowed to let those feelings control us or dictate improper behaviors against others. Such behaviors can impact others outside of the situation, who look to us for guidance and support. We don’t damage those relationships or allow our judgement to be clouded by our emotions. There’s too much at stake. We can’t say it to others but we must say to ourselves, “Get over it!” We allow ourselves to deal with it in a health way and in a healthy, safe environment and then we come back into our setting of leadership and put that leadership hat back on. That’s our reality.
Here are Six Tips To Help Avoid Retaliatory Behaviors:
1. Evaluate your decisions
Treat everyone fairly and according to policies and procedures. If you maintain the habit of treating everyone consistently, it will be harder to mistreat anyone because you have become a bit emotionally charged.
2. Be Proactive
Develop a policy or position statement that retaliation will not be tolerated and that you have an open door policy. Such a position is to invite people to share concerns early on and to create an atmosphere in which mutually beneficial conversations and problem solving are welcomed. It also puts you, and other leaders, in the frame of mind, that people will not be treated inappropriately for doing what you have invited them to freely do. Word of caution: Do not do this in words only. If you create this policy, be sincere about it and treat others kindly who comply with it.
3. Protect Others
When people share complaints or less than favorable information with you, protect all parties involved. That means, protect the parties who come forward but also protect the reputation and feelings of those who have allegedly engaged in any inappropriate behaviors. We do this for two reasons, one, they are people too and deserve that respect; and two, they may not be guilty of the accusations and thus do not deserve to have their names smeared through the mud.
4. Remain Neutral
Whether you are or are not directly involved in whatever has taken place, remain neutral. It may not be a pleasant journey but it is a journey nonetheless. You want to get to the other side of the journey with your faculties, reputation and impeccable standards (wink) still intact. Just bear in mind, there is end to this episode and when the wilderness journey ends, life must go on. Do not let your leadership die in the wilderness!
5. Get an Accountability Partner
In larger corporations, the HR department tends to serve as the corporate conscious and should hold management accountable for the decisions made and actions taken. This is not always the case, as some HR departments are made up of Yes Men and Women but that’s not in the best interest of the organization. Regardless of where you serve in leadership, work, home, houses of worship, education facilities etc. have a trusted individual or individuals who can pull your coat tail and reign you in if you lose sight of putting your best leadership foot forward. When that person is identified, give them the respect of listening and considering their insights. You should also be able to hold others accountable for their behaviors. Never allow yourself to think that you cannot positively influence others to behave appropriately. That’s what accountability is for.
6. Proceed with Caution
In the midst of sensitive matters such as these, we still have to perform and carry out our work. In doing so, it might be legitimately necessary to address performance or behavioral issues of someone who has previously gotten into a trouble-zone . To avoid the appearance or the temptation of retaliation, we should think twice before addressing any behaviors. We should ask these questions, “Is this really necessary right now?” “Am I sincerely acting in the best interest of the organization? the individual? myself?” “Am I acting out of anger or pride?” Many a manager has acted in retaliation and would swear that was not their motivation, when even the most pro-management mind would have had a hard time defining it as anything other than retaliation because it was so blatant. I can think of two such situations off the top of my head. Both resulted in lawsuits that cost two separate cities millions of dollars in one case and tens of thousands in another. I knew the plaintiffs personally and their stories in both cases.
Let’s keep these tips in mind whether we are dealing with our work teams, volunteer settings, family or friends. It’s all part of the leadership journey; sometimes we journey into peaceful waters and sometimes we journey into the wilderness. Just remember, don’t let your leadership die in the wilderness!