“It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” – Warren Buffet –
I remember John well. I was a high school senior. It was my first job and he was my first manager. Head of the “Central Records” Department of a small, yet contemporary bank over 20 years ago. We monitored and maintained all of the financial banking records of our customers. John had an alter ego in the department, Jeanine. The first descriptive term that comes to mind for her? “Nice.” She was nice. She was the soft spoken, diplomatic, clear thinking supervisor. The buffer. She kept us all motivated and moving forward and in the right direction. The only distractions? Those introduced by John. I was 17 but it was hard to ignore how the atmosphere changed when John appeared on the floor. Seeing him meant something was wrong; if it wasn’t when he arrived it would be before he left. Even the even-keeled, otherwise confident Jeanine exuded uneasiness and uncertainty when he was around. He would lose his temper from time to time…I think he assumed no one heard his loud outbursts in the noiseless atmosphere, since it usually occurred in an obscure corner of the department. And whenever a strange edict was instituted, like, “no talking in the office except to a supervisor,” (seriously) everyone knew it came from John… even though Jeanine’s name was attached to it.
He was large and looming; hair slicked neatly in place with the help of a sizable amount of hair cream or gel. About five strands would always fall across his forehead in the heat of summer when he was upset. By the look on his face, I believe he was fully aware of how intimidating he was to most employees in the department. He ran a tight ship and you dare not rock the boat. It was clear that he hated when things did not go according to plan. He was actually friendly towards me in an awkward sort of way. Even as a teenager, however, I knew it would be better to keep my distance whenever possible.
What did John teach me? He taught me quite a bit. So much so that I have never forgotten these lessons learned. Bear in mind this was my very first job, so as the saying goes, “first impressions are lasting ones.” Here are six mistakes I learned to avoid:
“Never Let ‘em See You Sweat”
One of the behavioral faux pas’ of leadership, is best described by a slogan used in an old 1980s deodorant commercial, some of you may remember: “Never let ‘em see you sweat.” If you’re in a leadership role of any kind, it’s good advice even today. It’s not only applicable to a nervous sweat but I think it is safe to stretch it and say it includes any dominant emotion that leaves you feeling out of control and makes you look less than professional.
How we handle uncomfortable moments can make or break us in the eyes of others. Keep your emotions leveled. I’m not saying “act” happy when you’ve lost a loved one but in your display of sadness maintain a moderate degree of composure. If you can’t, consider taking a few extra days off, to allow yourself to grieve. The important word would be “balance”. It is, certainly, ok to show your human side, like laughing when someone says something funny, being serious or even somber in times of sadness etc., but keep your wits about you. If your emotions exude an extreme, it can impact the entire team, and unfortunately, you may spend weeks, months or even years trying to fix your reputation with your team or others. We all have our moments but don’t allow those moments to become the mark of your character. And don’t fool yourself into thinking that people don’t talk about you when you are not in the room. They do. So your best bet is to give them something positive to talk about.
Taking Unearned Credit
High among things people hate to see their bosses do, is taking credit for the work others have done. Let’s be honest, when you run an effective team, everything they do, good or bad, ultimately gets credited back to you because you are their leader. So it is not necessary for you to commit “team treason” and steal the credit for their work. Don’t ruin your reputation by claiming more credit then you deserve. I recognize there are times when people inside or outside the team, try to minimize your influence and your impact, in accomplishments and triumphs but don’t try to steal the credit from those who deserve it. Deal with haters in other ways (we’ll save that for a future post). Keep records of all of your accomplishments for future use and always give credit where credit is due.
Dishonesty
One of the most important attributes of a leader in today’s world is credibility. Don’t lie to, around or about your team or anyone else for that matter. It is not a very mature picture to paint of one’s self. In order to be a leader you must have someone following you in something other than social media. If people don’t trust or believe in you, they won’t follow you. They might do what you say while you’re in the room but you might not get the greatest amount of productivity after you leave. And unless you are a micromanager, another leadership faux pas, you will eventually have to leave them to their own recognizance. As the old saying goes, “honesty is the best policy.”
Micromanaging
The micromanager often says things like, “I just like things to be done a certain way.” Or “I think it would be better if we do it this way.” Such a person also tends to make all the decisions and override the decisions made by others. They believe they are maintaining excellence but everyone else sees them as not trusting people to do their work and make good decisions. If this is you, I can only make one suggestion… STOP! If you choose the right team, train them properly and give proper guidelines and expectations, they should be able to handle the work without you undoing and re-doing everything after it’s all done. When you do this you undermine their self-confidence, stunt their professional advancement (because you limit their ability to shine), and destroy their respect for you. In addition, all the undoing and re-doing is nothing more than wasting people’s time. Quality and excellence includes efficiency and proper use of time. It won’t be long before they walk away. The antidote for micromanaging is trust. So work at building trust in other people’s ability to get the job done. If you are convinced that they don’t know how, then you haven’t done your job. So get to training, educating and teaching and let them handle it!
Ignoring Work/Life Balance
When something is not balance it is unbalanced. Who wants an unbalanced life? Everyone needs balance. This requires a conscientious effort on the individual’s part but it also requires effort from supervisors, managers, directors and VP’s. Pay attention to the work load of your team members. Make sure there is a fair distribution of work and responsibility. Step in and Institute changes if you notice one person or a few, doing more than their share of work. Even if they are good at it, don’t allow your team members to be overwhelmed or overworked.
Too Much Emotion
Angry? Go somewhere private and quietly breathe, count to ten, pray or whatever it is you need to do to calm down and start to think more clearly. That also applies annoyance, frustration, exasperation and any other negative emotion that you need to address before facing your staff or volunteers. If you would not display it in front of your boss, don’t display it in front of them.
There are other emotions or emotional dispositions that need to be shelved when working with your team. Even if you are not the boss, keep in mind that tears, outbursts and the ongoing sad face displayed more than once in the workspace can become the reason you find yourself unable to advance in title, responsibility and pay. It can also be one more barrier to people talking to you when Information needs to be shared.
Conclusion: How Will You Be Remembered?
Many of us have encountered a leader or two like John, but remember, leadership is meant to build, create and inspire others to greater achievement, not leave them shaking in their boots as you enter or exit the room. An appealing thought sometimes, I get it, but not the legacy you want to leave behind. Trust me. Be human, act like you care and don’t go overboard. Your reputation and your character will linger long after you have made your exit. Make sure it’s one you are proud of.