“Drama does not just walk into your life. Either you create it, invite it or associate with it.” – Author Unknown***
What is Drama? It is an emotional, rousing or unexpected set or sequence of circumstances. Mary J. Blige, a well-known American recording artist, sang a popular song written and produced by Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis entitled “No More Drama!”
How is Drama an Issue for Leaders?
Drama is an issue for leaders when it begins to infiltrate the meaningful and the meaningless aspects of our existence. Trials are a part of life that we must contend with. The problem is not the trials as much as it is the way in which we handle them when they arise.
I have worked with and been led by some of the moodiest people you would want to meet; and I have also been blessed to have worked with and to have been led by some of the most temperate, even-keeled individuals you could work with. People may be more prone to appear more temperate in larger corporate settings than they may be in some smaller environments where there may be less layers of accountability and watchful eyes. It may not be management’s intention or vision for leaders to behave this way around team members, customers or clients but it does happens.
“Mr. Bronson,” a former manager, comes to mind. He was one who was rarely in a good mood. Life always seemed to have him in a chokehold… There were two managers I had that might be deemed “crabby” at times when they were out of sorts but in all fairness, they tried not to show it. They just weren’t the best at hiding it. Overall, I believe I have been fortunate with regard to those I have worked for. Now those that I have had to work with in the areas of coaching and consulting on HR or diversity and inclusion matters, and some I have observed in smaller settings might be deemed another story…there have been quite an array of characters. Some of whom were definitely in need of greater emotional regulating.
There are a variety of things at home, at work and a few things in between that can present themselves as everyday threats that can impact the emotional strength of a leader and cause added drama. Here are seven to bear in mind:
Seven Threats to a Leaders Emotional Strength
1. Convictions – Unfortunately there are times that people may challenge our deeply held beliefs and values. If it’s fleeting it may have little or no impact but when it is ongoing it can become a problem that wears on us and begins to cause stress. Being clear on where we stand and what we believe can be helpful. It is acceptable for these to be non-negotiable.
2. Knowledge – Steve Jobs said it best when he said, “It doesn’t make sense to hire smart people and then tell them what to do; we hire smart people so they can tell us what to do.” This is indeed why each of us should have been placed in positions of leadership; because of the knowledge and expertise we hold in a particular area. It can therefore be particularly upsetting when others, who lack such knowledge and expertise, begin to question your actions and decision making in areas in which you are quite competent and confident.
3. Wisdom – Wisdom is the application of knowledge. There are those times when individuals outside of our circle of both may question the why’s and how’s of the work we do. It is definitely stressful when it is someone you report to but it is both stressful and confusing when it is imposed by someone to whom we do not report. Such challenges may lead us to question our positioning as well as our value to the organization thus leading to added stress.
4. Health – Bottom line, sometimes, we just don’t feel well! When this is the case, it can be difficult to focus and challenging to remain positive or at least appear to be positive. This may be the time we cut ourselves some slack and take a little time off so we can rejuvenate and recuperate in a more peaceful setting.
5. Time – Time management is always a challenge for us in any leadership position. Time management is always a challenge for us even if we are not in a leadership position. The best antidote for the time crunch is to manage our time better, plan ahead and anticipate the stress that time constraints can bring. Constant strain and constraints on our time will result in mounting stress and the loss of our peace.
6. Vulnerabilities – We know we possess both strengths and weaknesses as individuals and as leaders. It will behoove us to always be aware of the need to work to improve upon our leadership skills and abilities any time we can. We never really arrive. Learning, especially in leadership, is a continuum. That’s one of the reasons leaders spend so much time in meetings and workshops so we can continually self-evaluate and improve. If we give in to the vulnerabilities by hiding them or denying them, we are setting ourselves up to fail. The stress should never be in the need to grow but it does come with the self-inflicted shame we might feel when we deny our weaknesses and refuse to grow.
7. Vision – Regardless of where we fall in the structure of an organization or company, we all have a vision for the work that we do. The way vision works in larger settings, is that we have smaller visions for our areas that align neatly with the larger overarching vision of the organization. This creates synergy and momentum in reaching the larger vision. Stress can ensue and increase when there is a lack of vision at any level. If there is a larger vision but a mid-level manager has no vision for his or her area, frustration is likely to occur. If there is vision at the mid-level management level but none for the organization overall, stress can be even greater because no one knows where the organization is trying to go let alone where individual units or divisions are going. The result is chaos and mounting stress.
Four Tips for Fighting the Effects of Drama
1. Keep Doing What You Are Supposed to Do
Whatever your age, whatever your challenges, whatever your leadership role, understand that when drama presents itself, it will tug at our common sense, our concentration and our potential accomplishments because it wreaks havoc with our emotions. Drama is in the business of consuming our existence through the overthrow of our emotional control. When we lose control of our emotions, we become vulnerable to the everyday attacks that confront us as leaders every day. When we can harness our emotions we are able to keep moving forward and still get things done even as we move beyond the madness.
2. Be Prayerful
I have on more than one occasion mentioned that I am Christian. You may or may not be where I am. That’s fine but we’ve also established that most people pray. This is a blog that caters to leaders and Christian leadership and in helping Christian leaders understand how to balance both aspects of their lives. It is not helpful for us to enter leadership roles and leave our Christianity outside the door. It was and still is, my Christianity and my utilization of my faith that enabled me to successfully accomplish what was before me as a leader over the last 30 years. Prayer is not just something to be accessed in church on Sunday morning. It is available to us 24/7, 365 days a year. Without answered prayer, I would have given up long ago – in every setting!
3. Surround Yourself with Positive People
Do not allow yourself to get stuck on negative conversations. Sometimes we get sucked into negative exchanges when someone asks one simple question, “What’s wrong?” or “Are you OK?” We should pick our confidants carefully and think twice before we speak of sensitive matters that could come back to haunt us later. Our words really are seeds but if not planted carefully they are seeds to the wind. In which case, once they are released they scatter and cannot be retrieved. They come back in ways that we cannot anticipate; always better to plant seeds where we want them so they grow according to an established plan.
4. Take Responsibility for Your Feelings
Even though we are not the source of other people’s bad behavior, we will still be held accountable for our responses to what they say and do. Not only will we be held accountable but we will also have to live with the repercussions of any choices we make if we respond in the wrong way to what others are doing. We are to own our feelings and keep them close and do not become the person known for wearing them on our sleeves. Our feelings are a gauge to help us identify what is occurring on the inside and in some cases to allow us to release some of those emotions in healthy ways. We all have a right to feel every emotion that exists but we do not have the right to impose them upon others, attack or manipulate others with them. Leaders, we take responsibility and our emotions under control.
Concluding Thoughts
Emotions are not going away. They are not a bad thing. They are a good part of who we. Positive emotions open us up to new possibilities and can lead to happier, healthier lifestyles. Negative emotions alert us to the things we need to address promptly and thus improve upon. In the case both growth should be the result if we respond correctly. The ongoing challenge for the leader is not to allow emotions to become the opening and closing act for added drama. If we follow these suggestions we end up in a better place of leadership than that of getting lost in the theatrics. Needless to say, drama kings and queens don’t garner much respect from the masses. No one takes them seriously. So realistically if we want to be heard and we want to have impact… No More Drama!