“A wise man never knows all, only fools know everything.” – African Proverb***
When Kim realized her two friends might find out about her home life she quickly changed the topic of conversation to one that focused on more positive things. As usual, no one seemed to notice the switch. She began to share the good news of how her new boss told her what a great job she is doing and that she might be able to move her into a more responsible role in the organization. While no one noticed the initial switch in conversation, they definitely noticed that the conversation switched to one that was singing Kim’s praises… again.
What’s the problem with Kim you ask? Well Kim is that person that denies problems that are staring her in the face but always manages to see everyone else’s. She’s the one that likes to tell your problems to others but only shares her own accolades in those conversations. The only time she shares her issues is when she wants to tell of how she conquered the issue that you are not grappling with. She has the answer to every problem. She pretty much knows everything. If she doesn’t know it already, she’s working on it. She’s a character. One that is usually surrounded by victims and admirers, and I really can’t say if she recognizes the difference, seeing that these individuals (victims and admirers) could easily move from one category to the next at a moment’s notice.
Sometimes out of fear, or even embarrassment people can fall into an avid state of denial. We’re good at that. It is more problematic with people who bask in a sense of superiority. Their struggle may go beyond fear and embarrassment because their biggest issue lies within the realm of insecurity. While insecurity stems from deep seated fears, it creates greater issues for the individual who refuses to acknowledge its existence. They speak with courage and confidence but it really serves as a mask to conceal the insecurities. So what happens when we lead these individuals?
The Importance of Maintaining Control of Your Team
We tend to call them “Know it all’s.” They know the answer to every question. They even answer questions for you, before you have a chance to say anything. This person may be smart enough to give you respect as a leader because your support and adoration are important but they still manage to have the answer before you can answer and in spite of your knowledge, depending on the kind of relationship you share.
The problem I have found with these relationships is not only that they may over step the person in charge, but that those who are under the authority of the leader in this situation start to question who has the real control with and over the team and the work they are doing. The leader may begin to struggle to maintain governance and may or may not understand why they are struggling in the first place. Why? Well, I can hear one of my spiritual fathers in the faith saying, “Anything with two heads is a monster.” As much as we like to talk about headship and partnership interchangeably, the reality is that no matter where you are, church, home, business, two people cannot be in charge of the same things at the same time. If the leader is the Four Star General the second person in command has to step back and be the Lieutenant General or a lesser rank, but there are not two Four Star Generals.
Choosing Proper Leadership Assistance
The above is the very thing that many leaders fear in having someone else in leadership under them. They don’t want to lose control. I can say, however, it is an amazing thing when a leader has assistance from a trustworthy, competent leader. I was fortunate to have that twice!
1. First, you have to choose wisely.
When you are seeking someone to lead your people under your tutelage, take your time, recruit thoroughly and get input from others…including people who will be led by this person. If they are coming from within the ranks, others will let you know things they have seen and you may have missed, especially if you make it clear that this is all confidential and you handle it that way. Above all else, listen to wise counsel. Don’t ignore good advice.
2. Don’t default to whoever steps up to the plate
This will usually be the Know It All Person who is almost always bold enough to put themselves in your purview. They are usually valuable, knowledgeable people but are they good for your team? Such individuals have to be monitored and controlled. Like everyone else, you put them in positions where they will do the most good and the least harm. You cannot dictate whether you have them or not because they are bound to show up on the team at some point or another.
3. Look for the humble
Choose a person who is not overly eager to please you but who shows a humbleness to lead and serve. This is a key combination. If a person does not see leadership as service to those they lead and the person leading them, you may have a problem. In both of the successful cases I’ve experienced, both exhibited this humbleness. In both cases, these individuals were promoted from within, but also in both cases, they were individuals I would not have guessed would have been the successful candidates for the position. Not because of who they were or their backgrounds per se but because they stayed under the radar on a daily basis. They were never part of any drama, never jumping out front on any issue… but in retrospect when I was evaluating them for the position, they did outshine others on any group or individual assignment they were given by me or that I was privy to. They outshined others purely by attitude, quality and overall performance. So when you put a humble disposition on top of that, it tends to be a winning combination.
Train Leaders to Lead Like You
As you train and develop leaders, let them in on the decision making process you embark upon. Let them see the process from start to finish. Talk to them often, meet with them formally and informally so they hear how you think, what you expect and they reason together with you. This way, when you are not present, they will automatically begin to function in a similar fashion to how you function. This is not brainwashing it is training and development. It is mentoring. The person is fully aware of what is happening and is always free to share with you their thoughts on a matter. Sometimes you switch to their suggestions and sometimes you stick to your own, but you explain your rationale every step of the way, clearly, naturally and in a timely manner – all part of the learning process. Ultimately, yes, we are creating “Mini Me’s.”
Controlling the Know It All
People who work with a Know It All can benefit from common advice like, Ignore them, Don’t try to correct them, Don’t take them too seriously. Leaders cannot take such casual approaches to someone like this on their team. The chaos they can bring to a team and to a leaders goals and objectives are serious and can literally derail any mission or vision if things go south.
1. Make your behavioral expectations clear to all on the team
When everyone on the team understands the behaviors you expect…honesty, teamwork, etc. and you honor this daily and with all, it gives individuals less opportunity to hijack the team or the conversations that take place in your presence and when you are not around. It also gives others a license to come to you when something is amiss. This will backfire however if you become defensive of said individuals in front of the team. Remain neutral and fair to all and never jump to conclusions when someone brings something to your attention. If you publicly appear to be taking sides and defending the very person they are trying to warn you about, they will see that person as the untouchable one and will begin to “follow” that individual, believing they have power and authority that you don’t realize you have sanctioned. Hold everyone to proper behaviors.
2. Do not allow the person who thinks they know all to correct you publicly
Whether they mean to do it or not, make sure you nip this in the bud if and when it happens but be careful not to do it in a way that you sound arrogant or as if you simply have a bruised ego. Sometimes leaders want to avoid embarrassing the other person and they don’t realize the other person is not concerned with whether they are embarrassing the leader. Choose words carefully but make the correction in the presence of those to whom the issue was presented initially. In one instance I experienced, I explained my position to the team and told them that was the way it was to be as opposed to what an employee was suggesting to contradict me. I then, however, told the employee, in front of everyone, “I need to talk to you after the meeting.” This spoke volumes to everyone in the room, including the challenger.
3. Coach the Know It All
As a leader, it is more than appropriate for you to give that person guidance on how they are coming across in front of others. Let them know you care about their image and professional (or spiritual if in church) advancement and you want them to be successful. Give them indicators of appropriate behaviors for where they aim to be in the future and current behaviors they are displaying that will have the opposite effect. Even if they are unwilling to deal with the truth because of the depth of underlying causes for their behaviors, they may be willing to curb their behaviors for the benefit of their future success. Regardless of how others may view them, a perceived positive image is important to them.
4. Follow Up on Negative Behaviors
Some individuals who display these behaviors do them to the extent that it wears you down as a leader and you might be prone to overlook them out of leadership fatigue. Don’t. Address the behaviors and don’t let them win. They bank on the fact that they actually do know a lot and you need them. You counter with an attitude and actions that say, “As much as I want you around, I will not tolerate anything that contradicts our goals and objectives or my leadership.” You must be willing to follow through on this, up to and including removal of the person. If you do remove the person and that person has established a following, you absolutely MUST have a plan in place to mitigate any damage and fallout that could occur. This can be tricky but unless you are willing to relinquish all power and authority and handover your business, you have to do it.
5. Don’t Fall Asleep on the Job
Do not get lulled to sleep over time and forget what this person could do. Leaders have to lead no matter who else is on the team. Be vigilant and moniotor what is occurring with your team at all times. This means reports and strong rapport from and with sub-teams and committees, meetings with team leaders as well as individuals and of course, ongoing feedback with people on the team and those who interact with the team. Stay on top of what’s really going on around you so there’s no loss of control.
Closing Thoughts
As stated earlier, Know It Alls exist in our world and they will show up in our teams. Keeping our eyes open helps us see them. Keeping our ears open helps us hear them. Keeping our leadership skills sharp can help us alleviate the actions and antics they produce and keep them from undoing that which may have taken us years to develop. Ignoring them won’t help. Going to war with them will simply take the wind out of our sails. We have no choice but to learn how to lead them and maintain the control we already possess.