“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.***
I was in the store the other day. I was glad I was able to walk right up to the counter without having to wait in line. The sales clerk greeted me, I greeted her and she proceeded to take my items out of the basket and place them on the counter. I moved over to the keypad to enter rewards data and prepare for payment. She asked whether I would be using their store’s new credit card, I responded “no” and she continued to complete ringing up items. As I waited to complete my payment, I suddenly realized that throughout this entire transaction at no point had I looked up at this woman. I was not looking down as if I had low self-esteem. I did not look away as one who had something to hide. I wasn’t focused on my children asking questions or adding to my purchases as parents often are because I was alone. There were no distractions. As I completed the last steps of this transaction, I intentionally raised my eyes, looked at the face of the sales clerk and thanked her as she thanked me for shopping there. She wished me a good evening and as I continued to look at her, I bid her the same.
What I had realized and promptly corrected was that I was having an entire interaction with someone and had not yet acknowledged her as a person. She was talking to me and serving me in a positive, customer friendly manner yet I had failed to look up and see who this person was. All I saw out of the corner of my eye was long dark brown hair. Though I realized she had no idea that I hadn’t actually looked at her, it was still rude and inappropriate. She acknowledged me, now I needed to acknowledge her. She was not invisible, nor should she be. I had no right to make her be. I needed to see her. She deserved to be seen.
The Reality of Invisibility
When we don’t see someone, they have become invisible. Intentional or not, they become invisible. When this happens, rarely in my opinion, is it unintentional. People ignore and make others invisible every day based on gender, race, abilities, education, assumptions, stereotypes and financial status. I remember times in which individuals treated me with contempt because they assumed or believed my family had money and that did not sit well with those individuals. I can also remember being treated better than others because people assumed I or my family had money. I don’t think my parents had any more money than the next person but whether we had money or not did not matter. What mattered is that people made decisions about me and how to treat me, based upon their assumptions and biases. It happens every day.
The store clerk and the patron scenario happens every day. I recall many stories and have even seen or experienced the reverse situation myself, where the clerk ignores or does not “see” the patron, simply because they are Black, they are disabled or they are a woman… but that same clerk will quickly display the opposite reaction to the friend or other person who steps up to the counter to stand with the patron and they are worthy of acknowledgement because they are White, they have no visible disability or it is a man!
I cannot resist another example. A woman is shopping for a new vehicle on a car lot. The sales rep is having an ongoing conversation with her. A male associate of hers (whoever he may be… friend, boyfriend, husband, brother…) walks up to the two talking on the lot. It is obvious he knows the woman. The sales rep then proceeds to direct his entire conversation towards the man, totally ignoring the woman’s presence, cues and questions! I’ve seen it hundreds of times and it is nothing more than being dismissive of the female for no reason other than the fact that she is female. She had suddenly become invisible to him. Interesting, though, is the speed in which the sales rep was able to switch from respectful, egalitarian to disrespectful, misogynist; and he probably doesn’t even realize he did it because it is so ingrained in him and in society.
Let’s Talk About the Treatment of Women
Women often fall prey to the uninvited status of invisibility. Publicly disclosed police charges, court proceedings and recent Supreme Court rulings, have put the spotlight on inappropriate misogynistic behaviors in workplaces, media and the entertainment industry but we still see the behaviors haven’t ceased or diminished. Either the spotlight has simply brought the occurrences to the forefront or their frequency has actually increased. I believe it is the former not the latter.
Do we not recognize the oppressive behaviors towards women because the behaviors are as invisible as some make the women to be or is it because society is simple more tolerant towards the invisibility of women? I have said this before and I’ll say it again, oppression based on gender is just as evil as oppression based on race. Why? Because it is oppression. Oppression is demeaning, damaging and sinful.
We Make Others Invisible
Social invisibility is the resulting sting felt by those from marginalized groups, when others who are more popular or a part of the mainstream group ignore their presence and act as if they don’t matter.
To paint a more vivid picture of how people are made to feel invisible, consider the following: the behaviors include overlooking a person when they speak, minimizing their contributions at work or at home, interrupting them when they speak as if what they are saying has no merit, talking over them during conversations or making them feel like they don’t belong.
Invisibility goes beyond feeling invisible and begins to erode the person’s self-esteem and self-confidence. People are made to feel invisible by others. They don’t do it to themselves. Even if they participate in the sustaining of their own inadequacy, it still originated at the hand of another, whether it be mom, dad, siblings etc. There are people who knowingly participate and support injustice and oppression and there are those who unknowingly support injustice and oppression. Whether knowledgeable or ignorant, it’s still oppression when we ignore the needs and rights of another human being.
The Ongoing Fight
We moved from a major movement in protest of the ongoing violation of women’s rights through the Me Too Movement, shifted to the Black Lives Matter protests and now back to Women’s rights. The Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) just opted to make women more invisible again. Let’s not forget that in 2013 they wound the clock back to slowly reinstate the Jim Crow era by eliminating the Voting Rights Act. The country has fallen asleep.
Our eyes have closed so SCOTUS and political factions who oppose equality and the rights of the people to help “form a more perfect union” (as the preamble to the constitution states) have begun to advance their extreme viewpoints on the entire country. The constitution was flawed only because some of the truths included were not exactly true nor inclusive but individuals, groups, political representatives and other factions have worked tirelessly to make the corrections and improvements so the words of the constitution accurately reflect the needs and support of the visible and the invisible… by this I am referring to women and Black people not having had citizenship or full citizenship in the US when the constitution was written. Without citizenship, there were no rights.
Those who oppose the fight or see no need, are seeking to make the visible invisible and the invisible disappear by returning to an era of oppression and bondage. Political parties notwithstanding, we all have to remain vigilant because these others are systematically trying to destroy the country they claim to love. I “see” a new movement that is not so new. It is a movement of restoration of the old (inequality) and destruction of the new (equality…equity…inclusion).
Let’s look at some eye opening rulings that have been happening for centuries:
- 1883 SCOTUS “ruled that the Civil Rights Act of 1875, need only be enforced under extremely rare circumstances, as they saw it as a local not a federal issue. This federal law forced whites to award voting and legal rights to blacks via the 14th and 15th amendments. Recently Justice Alito used similar logic in the decision to overturn Roe v. wade.
- In 1896, the court approved of the construction of Jim Crow laws in its “separate but equal” ruling in the Plessy v. Ferguson case. The ruling that the case stemmed from was an incident that occurred in 1892 in which Homer Plessy, an African American train passenger refused to sit in a car for Black people stating it was a violation of his constitutional rights. The Supreme Court ruled that a law that “implies merely a legal distinction” between Blacks and whites was not unconstitutional. The result of that ruling was the widespread implementation of restrictive Jim Crow laws and separate public accommodations based on race.
- In 1927, the court upheld forced sterilization of people with disabilities
- In 1944, it upheld the imprisonment of Japanese Americans, though they called it a military necessity not a race issue
- And now the over turning of Roe v Wade
Each of these rulings takes us backward and each of these rulings uphold and maintain the forced invisibility of fellow human beings, particularly people of color and women. Unfortunately, the backwards direction that the Supreme Court is attempting to take us can only be stopped if there is balance or inclusion among the justices and in political parties.
Some believe there is little or nothing we can do but I contend that the old sayings, “It ain’t over ‘til it’s over,” and “all things are possible” are definitely words that apply here. People may argue the reality of how certain decisions and actions support the oppression of others but it doesn’t change the fact that these are potentially devastating violations of people’s rights and freedom. From a diversity and inclusion standpoint we appear to be experiencing a systematic process developed to restore some of the atrocities of American history… history that many are attempting to hide legally, i.e. prohibition of critical race theory being taught in schools which would enlighten even the most ignorant of people, as to how we got to a point of “isms” in the first place.
Internalized Oppression
It becomes more appalling when members of the oppressed group join forces with their oppressors to come against the freedom of others. There is a term to describe this. Internalized oppression, which is a form of dislike, distrust or disdain for one’s own gender, race or other level of group identity. The person displays the negative feelings of the oppressor towards themselves and towards individuals of their own group. While this is indeed damaging and gives greater power to the dominating group, the individual rarely, if ever holds the oppressor’s power to implement as much damage. Many use the Bible to justify their actions. See previous post, “Women: Eliminating the Invisibility.”
Closing Comments
Individually we can make a difference.
- We can vote and make sure politicians with exclusive, antiquated thinking do not dominate the three branches of government, at the federal and local levels. Somewhere along the line conservative thinking became anti-progressive and non-inclusive. That is not necessary. Regardless of one’s politics, we have to find ways to support and liberate, not undermine and minimize for selfish or financial gain.
- We can raise our sons and our daughters to treat everyone equally and fairly. We can also teach them that listening and learning about the experiences of others makes them a better more well rounded person. If they encounter or observe oppressive behaviors, they can take responsibility and act to correct or remove the oppression. It need not be accepted or tolerated.
- We can speak up. Violations of another’s will or rights is a violent act, even when the scars are not visible. When we see it, we should call it out but we should also talk about the issues. Sadly but honestly when a man speaks up for a woman, he is heard better than if she speaks up for herself. When a white person speaks up for the rights of a person of color, that person is heard more clearly than if the person of color spoke up for them self.
It is what it is. We do what we have to do for change!
Best Regards!
C.
For more on this subject see the 9/22/20 post “The Leader’s Quick Guide to Dismantling the Effects of Oppression”