Self Improvement: Getting What You Want in Life

“The only thing worse than starting something and failing… is not starting something.” — Seth Godin***

I thought long and hard about what to write for this week’s posts. Several ideas came to mind, some of which, I began to formulate content but none of it settled well within my spirit. Timing can be just as important as content. Some ideas such as understanding race, defining diversity in one’s corporate vs personal reality, why race is still an issue after 400 years, cross cultural communication traps and more. Nothing felt right. I needed something a little lighter; after all, it’s the beginning of December and the end of the year is fast approaching.

We just managed to get through a Covid Thanksgiving season and not necessarily successfully either, as the nation is facing more stringent lock downs or stay at home orders to gain greater control over the pandemic, but we, as a nation, continue to think we can outsmart the virus. Many continue to think they are invincible. People travelled to and fro to visit family and friends, confident that the love they share with others was enough to avoid the sharing of this virus that has had no mercy on family, friends and strangers who share the same breathing space. Experts, once again, predict an eventual spike in Covid cases as the menacing virus incubates within its victims for 2 to 14 days before it shows itself like an old friend popping out of a birthday cake. With that visual in mind, consider the reality that this is far from over and we now face a Covid Christmas followed by a Covid New Year (Sigh!).

The Coronavirus Rut

When does it end? Is anyone else getting tired of all the life changes and adjustments we’ve had to make because of this pandemic? Is anyone tired of the stages of change we have experienced throughout this journey? When does life get back to normal? What exactly is normal? Will normal look the same as it did in… let’s say December of 2019? Since most of us were forced to find a new normal, will that be normal for good, even after vaccines, abatement, containment and eradication of the pandemic? Normal may never look the same again, but eventually it will be routine. More college students will be more comfortable with the affordability of online courses; more employees will be comfortable seeking and accepting remote employment opportunities; more employers will be more trusting of the efficiency of remote workers to maintain productivity and ingenuity at home; more parents may be comfortable with homeschooling… and some won’t… and more students may actually be excited about school, like never before. And what about you? What about the self-help articles, books you’ve read and websites you’ve visited, the new lessons you’ve learned, the classes you took, the new skills you’ve gained and the new dreams you’ve birthed during Covid-19 lock downs, quarantines and stay at home orders? Will you be returning to life as usual as it was in 2019 or will you be developing a new and oh so exciting new normal?

I went from, “We can do this!” “We’ll get through this together!” in Spring of 2020 to “At least we can enjoy some fresh air and sunshine, with small gatherings and distancing… going stir crazy is not an option,” in Summer to “What day is it?” “What time is it?” and “Are you in class right now?” repeatedly, to my kids in the Fall. All phases of course, were sprinkled with race relations, the push for social justice, the political landscape in America that had the entire world thinking we’d gone mad and of course the financial ups and downs of millions of individuals and families. Like a movie moving in slow motion, the pandemic continued to travel through its stages of change. Again, however, I ask you, will you be returning to life as usual as it was in 2019 or will you be developing a new and oh so exciting new normal?

An Exciting New Normal

One year is ending and another is soon to begin. We will still be in a pandemic but maybe we will listen better. We will still be in a pandemic but maybe we will take the advice of the self-help articles, books and websites and become better people. With so much change and a new year beginning, once cannot help asking oneself, am I ready for a new year? Am I positioned the way I should be, so I can receive new blessings? If you never knew before, now is certainly the time to contemplate life and its meanings and if you already know that now is the time to start working towards it, while the world is at a standstill. The world is waiting to hear from you! Each of us was created for a purpose. Start preparing your message. Stop procrastinating and figure it out. It’s like discovering what to do to survive successfully in a pandemic except one day the pandemic will be over and the world will be waiting…

10 Tips for Getting What You Want in Life

1. Decide what you want

Knowing oneself and our hopes and dreams is necessary to the pursuit of those dreams. What do you want and how sincerely do you want it? It needs to be more than passion. It should be a deep seated desire that you know needs to be met. A long term dream, goal or pursuit that will advance you to a new level of living and a place of self-improvement that brings you closer to your God-given purpose.

2. Decide why you want it

To want something because someone else says we should have or be is one thing but it is most satisfying and motivating to know that we want something because we believe it will add value to our lives and build freedom into our futures. Ask and answer the questions: Is this something I really want and do I want it for all the right reasons? The right motivation will move us forward.

3. Make up your mind that you will pursue your desire

You’ve already decided what you want and why you want it. All you need now is to pursue it. Too many times in life we dismiss our desires because of negative excuses (It’s too late, I’m too old, I’m probably not good enough). Think of it as a now or never situation. If you are a person of faith, you have to understand that God has given us all things to enjoy and has already given us all spiritual blessings in heavenly places. We have to bring them into fruition in this world, but we first have to recognize they already exist.

4. Develop a step by step plan to obtain what you want

If you could get there without a plan, you would have already arrived. Plan your work and work your plan. Do your research and write it out so you remember in what direction you need to go.

5. Start moving in the direction of your desired outcome

Once you decide the steps necessary to achieve your dreams, don’t just sit there, Do Something! If you don’t get started, you may find yourself in the same place, post-Covid 2021, scratching your head and wondering, what happened! You created a plan for a reason, so get going.

6. Listen to wise advice

Listen to motivation from those who have achieved great things, and definitely include those who have achieved exactly what you have done. This includes people you know, books you can read, videos and audio recordings you can tune in to and more.

7. Tune out the doubters

Some will attempt to discourage you, keep conversations with them to a minimum. Develop a tough skin towards such individuals. More than likely these are people who have always told you what you cannot do. They are not achievers but deceivers so keep your distance. Note their fruit. The Bible says that a good tree produces good fruit and a rotten tree produces rotten fruit. It is not possible for a good tree to produce bad fruit nor is it possible for a rotten tree to produce good fruit. Conduct yourself accordingly and do not entertain the source of bad fruit.

8. Avoid telling all your business

One thing my father taught me, was that everyone is not going to encourage you so don’t tell everyone your plans. If you make that mistake, some will expend a great deal of energy talking you out of your dreams and on to theirs. This is ultimately a dead end ticket to no where. Don’t tell your plans to dream killers.

9. Share your plans with a small group of supporters

Be prayerful and attentive to the people around you who need to know your plans, so they can cheer you on and provide you with the ongoing support you need. These are the people who will nudge you when you are slacking and encourage you when you are making strides. This is your Amen Corner, so fill those seats with the right people. Be advised, they are few and far between. Depending on what it is you are doing, the time may come when you go public with your plans because it is the right time and it is necessary to do so, i.e. you are launching a new business or service and you need to let the world know.

10. Stay positive, keep the faith

Nothing can be done separate from one’s faith. Stay focused on what God is saying and doing and following His lead. Worship and study of scripture keeps your faith growing and faith enables you to keep moving forward. When our faith is strong, fear cannot take over.

Closing Remarks

Now grab a pen and notebook and start writing out those dreams. Brainstorm a list of things you want to do, no matter how farfetched. Once that list has been exhausted, read through and decide what in that list needs to be a journey that begins now. What do you want to see completed or well on its way to completion by this time next year. Get started now so that by the time the coronavirus is a part of history, you are well on your way to achievement. Be sure to drop me a comment or two along your journey. I want to hear how you are progressing!

Best Regards on Your Journey!

C.

Photo by Kelli Stirrett on Unsplash